Truth or Dare?

Posted on October 13, 2013


That is a catchphrase that's often associated with me. I made a documentary film with this title, and it has stuck to me like flypaper ever since. It's a fun game to play if you're in the mood to take risks, and usually I am. However, you have to play with a clever group of people. Otherwise you'll find yourself French-kissing everyone in the room or giving blow jobs to Evian bottles!

People usually choose "truth" when it's their turn because you can tell a lie about yourself and no one will be the wiser, but when you are dared to do something, you have to actually do it. And doing something daring is a rather scary proposition for most people. Yet for some strange reason, it has become my raison d'être.

If I can't be daring in my work or the way I live my life, then I don't really see the point of being on this planet.

That may sound rather extremist, but growing up in a suburb in the Midwest was all I needed to understand that the world was divided into two categories: people who followed the status quo and played it safe, and people who threw convention out the window and danced to the beat of a different drum. I hurled myself into the second category, and soon discovered that being a rebel and not conforming doesn't make you very popular. In fact, it does the opposite. You are viewed as a suspicious character. A troublemaker. Someone dangerous.

When you're 15, this can feel a little uncomfortable. Teenagers want to fit in on one hand and be rebellious on the other. Drinking beer and smoking weed in the parking lot of my high school was not my idea of being rebellious, because that's what everybody did. And I never wanted to do what everybody did. I thought it was cooler to not shave my legs or under my arms. I mean, why did God give us hair there anyways? Why didn't guys have to shave there? Why was it accepted in Europe but not in America? No one could answer my questions in a satisfactory manner, so I pushed the envelope even further. I refused to wear makeup and tied scarves around my head like a Russian peasant. I did the opposite of what all the other girls were doing, and I turned myself into a real man repeller. I dared people to like me and my nonconformity.

That didn't go very well. Most people thought I was strange. I didn't have many friends; I might not have had any friends. But it all turned out good in the end, because when you aren't popular and you don't have a social life, it gives you more time to focus on your future. And for me, that was going to New York to become a REAL artist. To be able to express myself in a city of nonconformists. To revel and shimmy and shake in a world and be surrounded by daring people.

New York wasn't everything I thought it would be. It did not welcome me with open arms. The first year, I was held up at gunpoint. Raped on the roof of a building I was dragged up to with a knife in my back, and had my apartment broken into three times. I don't know why; I had nothing of value after they took my radio the first time.

The tall buildings and the massive scale of New York took my breath away. The sizzling-hot sidewalks and the noise of the traffic and the electricity of the people rushing by me on the streets was a shock to my neurotransmitters. I felt like I had plugged into another universe. I felt like a warrior plunging my way through the crowds to survive. Blood pumping through my veins, I was poised for survival. I felt alive.

But I was also scared shitless and freaked out by the smell of piss and vomit everywhere, especially in the entryway of my third-floor walk-up.

And all the homeless people on the street. This wasn't anything I prepared for in Rochester, Michigan. Trying to be a professional dancer, paying my rent by posing nude for art classes, staring at people staring at me naked. Daring them to think of me as anything but a form they were trying to capture with their pencils and charcoal. I was defiant. Hell-bent on surviving. On making it. But it was hard and it was lonely, and I had to dare myself every day to keep going. Sometimes I would play the victim and cry in my shoe box of a bedroom with a window that faced a wall, watching the pigeons shit on my windowsill. And I wondered if it was all worth it, but then I would pull myself together and look at a postcard of Frida Kahlo taped to my wall, and the sight of her mustache consoled me. Because she was an artist who didn't care what people thought. I admired her. She was daring. People gave her a hard time. Life gave her a hard time. If she could do it, then so could I.

When you're 25, it's a little bit easier to be daring, especially if you are a pop star, because eccentric behavior is expected from you. By then I was shaving under my arms, but I was also wearing as many crucifixes around my neck as I could carry, and telling people in interviews that I did it because I thought Jesus was sexy. Well, he was sexy to me, but I also said it to be provocative. I have a funny relationship with religion. I'm a big believer in ritualistic behavior as long as it doesn't hurt anybody. But I'm not a big fan of rules. And yet we cannot live in a world without order. But for me, there is a difference between rules and order. Rules people follow without question. Order is what happens when words and actions bring people together, not tear them apart. Yes, I like to provoke; it's in my DNA. But nine times out of 10, there's a reason for it.

At 35, I was divorced and looking for love in all the wrong places. I decided that I needed to be more than a girl with gold teeth and gangster boyfriends. More than a sexual provocateur imploring girls not to go for second-best baby. I began to search for meaning and a real sense of purpose in life. I wanted to be a mother, but I realized that just because I was a freedom fighter didn't mean I was qualified to raise a child. I decided I needed to have a spiritual life. That's when I discovered Kabbalah.

They say that when the student is ready, the teacher appears, and I'm afraid that cliché applied to me as well. That was the next daring period of my life. In the beginning I sat at the back of the classroom. I was usually the only female. Everyone looked very serious. Most of the men wore suits and kippahs. No one noticed me and no one seemed to care, and that suited me just fine. What the teacher was saying blew my mind. Resonated with me. Inspired me. We were talking about God and heaven and hell, but I didn't feel like religious dogma was being shoved down my throat. I was learning about science and quantum physics. I was reading Aramaic. I was studying history. I was introduced to an ancient wisdom that I could apply to my life in a practical way. And for once, questions and debate were encouraged. This was my kind of place.

When the world discovered I was studying Kabbalah, I was accused of joining a cult. I was accused of being brainwashed. Of giving away all my money. I was accused of all sorts of crazy things. If I became a Buddhist—put an altar in my house and started chanting "Nam-myoho-renge-kyo"—no one would have bothered me at all. I mean no disrespect to Buddhists, but Kabbalah really freaked people out. It still does. Now, you would think that studying the mystical interpretation of the Old Testament and trying to understand the secrets of the universe was a harmless thing to do. I wasn't hurting anybody. Just going to class, taking notes in my spiral notebook, contemplating my future. I was actually trying to become a better person.

For some reason, that made people nervous. It made people mad. Was I doing something dangerous? It forced me to ask myself, Is trying to have a relationship with God daring? Maybe it is.

When I was 45, I was married again, with two children and living in England. I consider moving to a foreign country to be a very daring act. It wasn't easy for me. Just because we speak the same language doesn't mean we speak the same language. I didn't understand that there was still a class system. I didn't understand pub culture. I didn't understand that being openly ambitious was frowned upon. Once again I felt alone. But I stuck it out and I found my way, and I grew to love English wit, Georgian architecture, sticky toffee pudding, and the English countryside. There is nothing more beautiful than the English countryside.

Then I decided that I had an embarrassment of riches and that there were too many children in the world without parents or families to love them. I applied to an international adoption agency and went through all the bureaucracy, testing, and waiting that everyone else goes through when they adopt. As fate would have it, in the middle of this process a woman reached out to me from a small country in Africa called Malawi, and told me about the millions of children orphaned by AIDS. Before you could say "Zikomo Kwambiri," I was in the airport in Lilongwe heading to an orphanage in Mchinji, where I met my son David. And that was the beginning of another daring chapter of my life. I didn't know that trying to adopt a child was going to land me in another shit storm. But it did. I was accused of kidnapping, child trafficking, using my celebrity muscle to jump ahead in the line, bribing government officials, witchcraft, you name it. Certainly I had done something illegal!

This was an eye-opening experience. A real low point in my life. I could get my head around people giving me a hard time for simulating masturbation onstage or publishing my Sex book, even kissing Britney Spears at an awards show, but trying to save a child's life was not something I thought I would be punished for. Friends tried to cheer me up by telling me to think of it all as labor pains that we all have to go through when we give birth. This was vaguely comforting. In any case, I got through it. I survived.

When I adopted Mercy James, I put my armor on. I tried to be more prepared. I braced myself. This time I was accused by a female Malawian judge that because I was divorced, I was an unfit mother. I fought the supreme court and I won. It took almost another year and many lawyers. I still got the shit kicked out of me, but it didn't hurt as much. And looking back, I do not regret one moment of the fight.

One of the many things I learned from all of this: If you aren't willing to fight for what you believe in, then don't even enter the ring.

Ten years later, here I am, divorced and living in New York. I have been blessed with four amazing children. I try to teach them to think outside the box. To be daring. To choose to do things because they are the right thing to do, not because everybody else is doing them. I have started making films, which is probably the most challenging and rewarding thing I have ever done. I am building schools for girls in Islamic countries and studying the Qur'an. I think it is important to study all the holy books. As my friend Yaman always tells me, a good Muslim is a good Jew, and a good Jew is a good Christian, and so forth. I couldn't agree more. To some people this is a very daring thought.

As life goes on (and thank goodness it has), the idea of being daring has become the norm for me. Of course, this is all about perception because asking questions, challenging people's ideas and belief systems, and defending those who don't have a voice have become a part of my everyday life. In my book, it is normal.

In my book, everyone is doing something daring. Please open this book. I dare you.

Eminem Confirms Duet With Rihanna

Posted on October 13, 2013


Eminem has finally revealed the tracklist for his upcoming album The Marshall Mathers LP 2, which will be released on 5 November.

It will be the star's first album since 2010's Recovery and includes his single Survival, which was unveiled on the Call of Duty: Ghosts Multiplayer Reveal trailer. It also features the Beastie Boys inspired track Berzerk.

The 16-track album features a series of collaborations, including a Song with Rihanna. She appears on Monster, following on from the success the pair enjoyed for their joint effort on the hit Love The Way You Lie in 2010.

The Real Slim Shady rapper also partners with Skylar Grey, who co-wrote large portions of Love The Way You Lie, earning two GRAMMY Award nominations as a result. 

Kendrick Lamar also features on Eminem's new album on the track Love Game, but most the most eyebrow-raising appearance is from Fun. frontman Nate Ruess on Headlights. We can't help but wonder what the indie singer will bring to Eminem's fury-fuelled rap.
So, we're pretty excited about the launch - and are certain that the album is going to be as brilliant as it's predecessor.

The artwork to The Marshall Mathers LP 2 reveals Marshall's childhood home on 19946 Dresden Street, boarded up and overrun with weeds.

The tracklist for the album is as follows:
1. Bad Guy
2. Parking Lot (skit)
3. Rhyme Or Reason
4. So Much Better
5. Survival
6. Legacy
7. A**hole feat. Skylar Grey
8. Berzerk
9. Rap God
10. Brainless
11. Stronger Than I Was
12. Monster feat. Rihanna
13. So Far
14. Love Game feat. Kendrick Lamar
15. Headlights feat. Nate Ruess.
16. Evil Twin


One Direction just revealed the tracklist of their new album "Midnight Memories," to be released on Nov. 25.

Hours after the cover's artwork was published, One Direction encouraged Twitter followers to guess the various song titles on "Midnight Memories" through a series of fill-in-the-blank games. Lead single "Best Song Ever," which got to No. 2 on the US Hot 100 chart, and their upcoming single "Story of My Life" (to be released on Oct. 25) are included on the 14-song full-length.

Last week, One Direction announced that Saturday, Nov. 23 would be known as "1D Day," with a seven-hour live stream broadcast connecting the superstar boy band with fans across the globe. 

Here is the track list to One Direction's "Midnight Memories":

1. Best Song Ever
2. Story of My Life
3. Diana
4. Midnight Memories
5. You & I
6. Don't Forget Where You Belong
7. Strong
8. Happily
9. Right Now
10. Little Black Dress
11. Through The Dark
12. Something Great
13. Little White Lies
14. Better Than Words


Justin Timberlake's new Album 'The 20/20 Experience' Part 2 debuts at N°1 in the World's Best-selling Album chart selling 469.000 copies in its first week. It's a lot of records but not close to the sales of the first part of the Album which sold 1.290.000 copies in its first week and has already shifted 3,56 million units so far, still the most successful album of the year. 'The 20/20 Experience, Part 2' is available in two different editions, a standard version and a special version, called 'The Complete', which combines Part 1 and Part 2. Part 1 shot back into the Top 40 this week at No.5 with this week's largest sales increase (98.000).

Last week's N°1, Drake's 'Nothing Was The Same', slides one slot to No.2 with sales of 200.000.

Driven by the big success of  'Royals', Lorde's album 'Pure Heroine' is this week's 2nd highest debut at No.3. It sold 171.000 units in its start week, 129.000 of it in the USA, 20.000 in Australia and 15.000 in Canada.

J-pop girl group Perfume arrives close behind at No.4 with 'Level 3' and 166.000 sales.

At No.6 are Kings of Leon with "Mechanical Bull" with sales of 96.00.  

Also new are newcomer band Haim with 'Days Are Gone' at No.7 (89.000 sales).

Superfly are at No.8 with 'Best' which sold 70.000 copies this week mostly in Japan.

Artic Monkey's 'AM' slips from No.5 to 9 with sales of 61.000 and Belgian Superstar Stromae closes this week's Top 10 with his shash Album 'Racine Carrée.'

Other New Entries are German rapper Casper with 'Hinterland' at No.16 (44.000 sales), J-pop girl Band, Scandal, at No.17 with 'Standard' (43.000 sales), American rock band Alter Bridge with 'Fortress' at No.18 (43.000 sales), Danish singer Agnes Obel with 'Aventine' at No.19 (38.000 sales), techno legend Moby with 'Innocents' at No.25 (33.000 sales), and American country singer Tyler Farr with 'Redneck Crazy' at No.26 (29.000 sales).


Noone can move katy from her position of Queen of the World's best-selling Singles chart! "Roar" stays at No.1 for the seventh week!

No change in chart position this week for Avicii's 'Wake Me Up!' which is still at No.2 and Lorde's 'Royals' which stays at No.3. Miley Cyrus' 'Wrecking Ball' is still at No.4.

This week's greatest gainer is Japanese girlie group, NMB 48. Their seventh global top 10 smash since two years, 'Kamonegikkusu', debuts at No.5 in this week's Global chart.

Lady Gaga slips from No.4 to 6 with her smash hit 'Applause' while Drake moves up one from No.8 to 7 with 'Hold on we're going home'

'Walking On Air', the third Single from Katy Perry's upcoming album 'Prism', enters the Top 20 at No.19.

Robin Thicke slips from 5 to 8 this week with his chart topping 'Blurred Lines' featuring Pharell and T.I.

One Republic's 'Counting Stars' remain at No.9 this week even though they are No.1 in the UK!

Closing this week's Top 10 World Singles is Lana Del Rey with 'Summertme Sadness' featuring Cédric Gervais.

New entry for 'Gomennasai No Kissing You' by the E-Girls at No.27.

'23', the lead single of the debut album by American record producer Mike Will Made-It, debuts at No.39 this week and last New Entry in this week's Top 40 is  'Can We Dance' from boy group The Vamps who are No.2 in the UK official Singles chart this week.

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